Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
