if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
