Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
