TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
