Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You dont lie about slip and slides
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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