so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
