I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
