I feel like abortions should bother me more
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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