It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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