Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
