omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
