You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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