Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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