i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
