I think my fart just growled at me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
