So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
