I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize