Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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