Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
