Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
