Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
farters have to be the big spoon...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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