I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
