found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
