So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
