Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
