There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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