She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
