How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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