So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
