I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
