just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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