so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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