My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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