A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
