is your mom at the bar?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
