Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
