Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
