this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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