it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
