i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
