we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
