He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
