You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
