so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
