We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
