dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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