he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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