he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
