so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
