If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
