Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize