Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
