Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
