I bet he comes in French.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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