I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
