i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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