Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
