I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you win again, gameday.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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