Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize