well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this just has baby written all over it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize