i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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