Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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