I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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