It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
