I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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