let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
