that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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